We haven't forgoten the Corner. We have been rather busy lately.
I will try and cook up a real post soon.(ish)
hugz and luv,
Friday, December 14, 2012
Posted by Cynthia Lee-Bussell at 8:45 AM
Sunday, October 14, 2012
This year is the first year that my support group is heading
a “Transgender Day of Remembrance” (TDoR) event. We’re working hard to make it a community
involved event. We've come such a long way in such a short amount of time. Just
a year and a half ago we didn't know anyone in town and had no connections to
the LGBTQ community. We started our support group and have worked hard to be a
presence and a part of the larger community. I tried to get the group to create
a TDoR event last year but since we’re somewhat democratic, the group didn't really want to create one. I was upset at the time because I feel it’s our duty
to remember those that we've lost, and lead the way in such an event. Looking
back however; I’m really glad that we didn't plan an event last year. We didn't have any connections with anyone, and didn't have a large enough group (or
funds) to create a successful, well attended event.
Monday, October 8, 2012
As an androgyn/gender variant/non-binary type person; I’m
used to having people “not believe” in my identity. What I am often shocked by,
is when I hear people’s identity come into question even in trans* spaces. I’m
shocked to hear someone else; who has been fighting for recognition of their
own identity turn around and do the same thing to someone else.
Tuesday, October 2, 2012
|Sam over at itspronouncedmetrosexual.com posted about this, and created this awesome graphic. Click it to see his take on it.|
Friday, September 28, 2012
Wednesday, September 26, 2012
- Local support groups for spouses of trans* people, or groups that welcome in spouses. (our trans* support group is open to spouses as well, for example.)
- Susan's significant others online forum (parents are also welcome)
- Laura's Playground Partners/SOs section of their online forum
- Find a local PFLAG chapter
Saturday, September 22, 2012
We will get back to our discussion on coming out soon, but I just created this graphic and I wanted to share:
Thursday, September 20, 2012
Coming out take 2 ~ Cynthia Lee
My coming out as Trans* to my friends and family was met with a collective ho-hum. I got many people who reacted in a way that indicated they were not surprised. One of my friends said to me “I knew this about you for years, I was afraid you didn’t know”. Another friend said, “That makes sense. This explains a lot.” Another friend asked, “What took you so long?”
I was rather stunned by these reactions. I thought I had done a fine and dandy job of being manly and macho. I really thought that I had been successfully portraying a man to the world. Now that I have had time to reflect on my life pre transition I see clear as can be that I was dropping hints to my true gender my entire life. All my life I was actually playing the part of a man and doing it very poorly it turns out. I had expected them to attempt to defend my ‘manhood’ and try to convince me I was nuts. I expected the same treatment that most transsexuals deal with. Rejection and transphobia were what I expected but I was given love instead.
In the end I have lost no one to my coming out. All of my family and friends accept me as Cynthia. This was anti-climatic. I had prepared for ultimate rejection and being challenged, or dissuaded from my transition. I had not prepared for being accepted and loved unconditionally. It was very wonderful and awesome that I have kept my friends and family, but I had not prepared myself for this outcome. Person after person that I came out to were ok with me transitioning. In a way, it was a tad aggravating. What do you mean my portrayal of ‘man’ was so lousy that no one was buying it!??! I was so sure of the excellent job of role-playing ‘man’ that when I discovered that it was not excellent it kinda miffed me a bit. Nevertheless, it should come as no surprise. Women are not men and they do a lousy job of being men full time. Sure, some women can play the part of a man for a while, but no woman can live as a man 24/7 and not let her guard down and let the woman inside out on occasion. Turns out that I was showing the inner woman, I was letting her out on a daily basis.
Therefore, my gentle reader I want to boil it down to this: You have no idea if your friends and family will accept you or reject you until the moment of truth. It is worth the chance you take and it just might end with acceptance.
Monday, September 17, 2012
This is a tough topic for me to cover because of how vast and individual and unique each person, and each coming out is. It's going to vary depending on what state (with what rights) you're in. How old you when you start coming out you are; will play a role. Plus many other things will come into play when we talk about coming out.
Wednesday, September 12, 2012
I've noticed an issue that seems to be coming up to a fever pitch lately...and it's an issue between two sexual identities. Bisexual
What I'm hearing so far...the argument goes a little like this:
Pansexual: Since Bi means "two" it's binary, and not inclusive of trans* and other identities.
Bisexual: That's not true!!! How dare you tell us what our identity is! Bi can mean two..sure, but as in "same as, and different than...which includes everyone!
Pansexual: Dude...chill out. It's fine if you don't dig trans* people...every gender/sex isn't for everyone. It's fine. Don't sweat it.
Bisexual: Why are you being insistent on Bi-erasure!!!!
Ok so that's a SERIOUSLY over simplified version, and only from my perspective...and I'm pretty sure I'm missing some of the information since this whole disagreement really makes no sense to me at all. The way I'm seeing it is that many Bi people seem to feel/believe that Pansexual IS the same as Bi, and therefore, there's no need for the additional sexuality.
Also, bi-erasure is in there somewhere...and trans* politics being put above bi politics is also in there somehow.
Now that it's all clear as mud...you're on the same page as me.
As a trans* person, let me tell you about some of the relationship types I've seen. I've met a couple who was straight. One was pre-everything trans woman, and a cis man. His sexual identity never changed to encompass his trans wife, because she's a woman regardless of her body.
I know a few couples that are gay men that are with trans guys, and they felt no need to change their sexuality due to dating trans guys...because trans guys are GUYS.
As a genderqueer person, who's married to a trans*woman. I personally identify as pansexual. In LGBT spaces I often identify as Queer because it's easiest...I'm genderqueer, I'm pansexual, I'm polyamourous...I'm Queer!
If someone's identity is bisexual, and they feel they can and/or have been attracted to trans* people and feel their identity is bisexual. Awesome. That's great for them. I would never presume to tell someone what their identity is.
To me, looking at a word in a literal manner...bi means two=binary man/woman system. That's what it means to me which is why I don't feel it fits me. If it doesn't mean that to you, that's ok. We don't have to use just one word at a time to understand each other. We can, in fact...have whole conversations with many words in order to get our point across and see eye to eye.
Once again I'm so happy for the community I'm a part of. The organizations I interact with actively seek out participation who are gay, lesbian, bi, and trans*. All are equal and important. I don't understand why it seems to be this way elsewhere, or at the very least...just that some seem to feel it to be this way. We really really can get alone and work together for better visibility. Honest.
Monday, September 10, 2012
And I've been grateful, happy, thankful, and frustrated all simultaneously. Grateful, happy and thankful because "wow! You're asking me, and that's so respectful and awesome that you thought to ask!" and frustrated because..."Wow...I don't like the words I've got available to me."
So humor me, if you might...and let's walk through my process and it's gone thus far.
My line of thinking started with "Well, men and woman don't get to decide; Hey! I hate the pronoun he or she! I refuse to use those!!" That's never happened. (I don't think...maybe it has. That'd be interesting..) and as such, I decided that maybe ze/hir just felt weird because it was new, and that maybe instead of reinventing the wheel...I'd just stick it out, and surely I'd get used to their use and all would be well!
Yea...hasn't happened. In fact, I've grown increasingly unhappy with them. Particularly hir. I hate that every time I say "hir" I feel the need to follow that with "and it's spelled h-i-r." or if I write it down, I feel the need to follow it with "and it's pronounced hear".
I don't like the way it feels in my mouth. I don't like the way it feels in my ears. I thought I'd like it. I thought I'd come around with use and normalcy. I've not. Ze is ok...I don't struggle with that, though it's odd to me as infrequently as we use the letter "z" in words...it almost feels like "Z's a weird letter that we never use...let's assign it to those weird people over there! How fitting"
And yea...likely that's just my mind. But that's what we're talking about right now isn't it? *My mind*, my process.
A non-binary acquaintance of mine has created the pronoun set "jhe/jher" but to my mind it sound...french. Or...something. I know it doesn't sound like it fits in English. I don't begrudge jher, and have no problem using jher set in reference to jher. I just don't like it for me. (though I would very much prefer ONE set that is for everyone...I have very little hope that's likely to actually happen...too many "hands in the pot"...as it were.)
In addition to this thinking process, and dislike of the words I've chosen to go with thus far...I'm rather unhappy to go back to all those people who have asked me what pronouns to use, and have done their best to use them, to please...switch.
That's what needs done though. That's what exploration is all about, isn't it? Going down a path to try it on, see if it fits, finding it doesn't, and trying something else.
So what do I propose instead? Why, I'm so glad you asked!
As I said, to some extent; Ze doesn't bother me. The "Per/Pers" set does have "phe" that goes with it in place of He/She, but I can't really work with that so much. There was a time that I went by Phoenix, and Phe was the short "nickname" for that...and so in my mind it just hearkens back to that, rather than being a proper pronoun.
Monday, September 3, 2012
We've talked about many things about gender here on our blog. I think it's widely understood and accepted that gender identity center's in your brain. (as seen in the genderbread person)
|Property of www.itspronouncedmetrosexual.com |
There are many things that go into how we express ourselves.
Not just gender.
I used WeeMee app to create my male and female expression...as an example of how I can vary from day to day. (though obviously...regardless of my expression, my favorite color is still blue. lol)
Thursday, August 30, 2012
We took Buddy to the vet for his surgical follow up and the vet said everything was looking great so far. His incision has closed up very nicely. We talked about the pros and cons of getting him a custom knee brace from OrthoPets. The vet wasn't familiar with the company or braces that fit properly for dogs and don't fall off. She said she'd look into them and we'd talk about it more as an option to further support his knee and hopefully help him move better and live without arthritis for longer. (I have no illusions that he'll be arthritis free for life. Not possible considering how much cartilage he lost in surgery)
We left with a bucket of glucosamine condrodien supplement (chewy treats) and instructions to help him work out more and more to build his leg muscle back. He'd been refusing to put his foot down for the longest time until I actually helped him and showed him it wasn't going to hurt to walk on it. He started limping a bit after that, but he preferred to hop.
We have been taking him up to the lake to go swimming as the vet said that was the best thing for him to rebuild muscle. My dogs have never been swimming and I wasn't sure he'd be much for it. The first time I took him he wasn't at all interested. Once he found that he could swim he became more interested. I let him swim against my hand in the shallows (I put my hand against his chest so he was just swimming in the same spot) and then let him get out, shake off and walk around a bit. Then I brought him back into the lake to do it again and he was more willing the second time.
We've been walking him on short walks to get his strength up. We've also got to watch him where weight is concerned. He's never been a fat or over weight dog, but the vet wants him to stay on the lean side. He builds thick muscle easily, and we have to watch that so he's not over heavy. He used to weigh 96lbs, and now he weighs 86. I told the vet I was shocked he'd lost so much weight, and she told me he shouldn't weight any more than he does now. Which I was shocked at because, as I say, he's not a fat dog...but he's usually much more muscular than he is now. So I'm not sure how I'm going to help him to keep weight off, but we'll try.
Posted by Sevan Bussell at 7:28 PM
Wednesday, August 22, 2012
To my trans* readers...I'm sure you know exactly what Gender dyphoria is about, and you don't need me to tell you. However..in light of the new changes to the DSM 5 that is switching from "Gender identity disorder" to "Gender dysphoria" many people outside of the trans* community are starting to talk about it, think about it and come to me and my community; to ask about it.
That made me realize that while I go and do speaking engagements and tell people about being trans*; I never bring up dysphoria. In my attempts to normalize and express myself, I leave out the pain my gender incongruity brings me.
So...let's attempt to bring light to it. Shall we?
First...let's define gender:
- One's sense of self as masculine or feminine regardless of external genitalia. Gender is often conflated with sex. This is inaccurate because sex refers to bodies and gender refers to personality characteristics.
- A socially constructed system of classification that ascribes qualities of masculinity and femininity to people. Gender characteristics can change over time and are different between cultures. Words that refer to gender include: man, woman, transgender, masculine, feminine, and gender queer.
Wednesday, August 15, 2012
Buddy's surgery was successful! We just got him back after he spent a day at the vets rehabilitating. After surgery was complete they gave us a call to tell us how it'd gone. He'd also ruined %75 of one of his knee cartilage...which makes me so sad!! They have two cartilages, one on the left half of the knee joint, and one on the right half of the knee joint. So the right half is completely fine, but the left cartilage is the one that was ruined...so we'll be doing our best to stave off arthritis, but it's pretty likely it's in his future. :(
He's home now and resting on the couch (his favorite!) he needed some help getting up here, but then decided to snuggle some. :)
He came and said thank you :) Such a sweet boy!!!
His incision. He's not messing with it so far, which is good because he's definitely a stress licker. We're actually having a hard time keeping Lily away from it! Silly girl.
Thanks to all who donated we were able to cover his full surgery cost! We do have just a little bit of credit card to pay off, but that's fine, no big deal. Thank you so so much!! I can't express how much it means to me.
The vet did warn us that it may be a breed deficit that makes it easier for these ACL injuries. As such, he may blow out the other ligiment. We're looking around at ways to protect him from this happening...and I've found a company that makes dog orthotics. I'm really considering such a thing for him, especially when he goes to the dog park, or wants to really play. I want him to have that option...and live his best life. We'll see if that's an option for him or not.
He's on the road to healing!
Posted by Sevan Bussell at 1:09 PM
Monday, August 13, 2012
Tomorrow (Tues 8/13/12) is Buddy's surgery, so today I finished his crate. He's sleeping in it now, and thank goodness doesn't seem to mind it too much.
I cut up an old memory foam mattress topper that we had laying around and stacked two layers of that to fill the whole crate. Then I put his familiar bed (which is a bit smaller) on top of that, and covered all three layers in an old sheet (that I don't care about, so if he messes it up or tears it...no big deal.)
We've got a nice new bed coming in the mail that I found online, and while it's big enough for this crate, it's meant for a dog that weights less than Buddy which is why I intended to keep these memory foam pads under it so he doesn't just sink to the ground.
I put it in our bedroom for the time being so that he's in the quietest part of the house. After about a week post op I think I'll move it into the living room so he can be around everyone.
Just for size comparison...here's Lily in the middle of the crate:
And here's Buddy in it. He's not panting or seeming stressed to be there, so that's a good sign. I only plan to have him in for a few hours at most today, just so he can get used to the space. We'll put a small food and water bowl outside the back wall, and it's enough space for him to stick his head through for water or food. That way he won't knock it over inside his crate.
He'll go in first thing Tuesday for surgery and stay at the vets for observation for two days. I'm so nervous for him. He doesn't handle medicine or medical treatment very well...or hasn't in the past. I'm hoping he'll do fine! I have never been without him in this house...this will be very weird. (I've been without him when we travel, but never at home.)
Sunday, August 5, 2012
Yesterday and today I worked on Buddy's new crate. He had a metal one as a puppy but he out grew it very quickly, and he's such a mellow guy that we generally trust him to behave at home and not need to crate him. We tried to see if he still fit but...nope. He's too big, and can't turn around in that crate. So I had to buy or make him a new one. I had wood laying around and didn't need for anything...so it make the most sense to make one rather than buy one.
I intended it to be big enough for him to lay completely stretched out on his side, and be able to turn around easily; as he'll be limping or hopping post surgery.
I had to rearrange the house a little bit because our home is very very small and the crate is 46in x 33in. I also can't finish it until it's time to use it, because it won't fit through the doorway! Thank goodness I thought of that before finishing the front and the top. Here it is in progress:
I wanted to give Buddy a chance to get used to it some...and as soon as I saw him start stress panting I remembered how much he hates being crated. Oh boy. I can only hope it's somewhat better for him post surgery as he'll have been kenneled at the vet for 48hrs before coming home. I'll also have plenty of treats ready to stuff his kong with and crawl in and snuggle him. The slats on the walls are actually wide enough that he can stick his head out and get water or food. So I don't need to keep those in his crate with him. I'm also hoping to get him a new large bed that will fill the whole space, and be much fluffier and nicer than his current bed.
Monday, July 30, 2012
Thank you, thank you, thank you to all who were so generous and gave to our dog Buddy. We've got all the money we need for his surgery! He goes in on Aug 14th, and will stay with the vet and recover for two days, then comes the long hard road to full recovery and healing.
We have some wood at home that I intended to make a garden trellis, but I'm going to use that to make him a suitable crate instead. (rather than spend over $130 to buy him a new one that's large enough for him)
His healing time isn't going to be fun, but we're going to do everything we can for him to heal as well as possible.
Again, thank you so much for all the help!!!
I'll update his status again as we get closer to surgery, and keep everyone in the loop. He's been getting plenty of massage to keep his muscles less tense. We've been trying to keep him as mellow and quiet as we can as we get closer to surgery date.
Posted by Sevan Bussell at 2:29 PM
Thursday, July 26, 2012
Oh my goodness!! What a (wonderful) whirlwind the last two days have been!!
First I wanted to thank, thank, thank those 62 people who have reached out and helped us. We've raised 7/9 of the money we need for Buddy's surgery! Most of that has been in $5-$10 amounts...so that is ALOT of love for my sweet boy!
While we're almost there...we're not there yet. So if you have any money that you could spare to help Buddy get a surgery to repair his left ACL tendon and help him walk without pain...that would be amazing.
Any extra money we get will go to a local charity to help families who need assistance getting medical bills paid for their pets.
*Thank you, thank you to all who have helped us!! I've removed the donation button because we've met our goal!!!**
Posted by Sevan Bussell at 7:48 PM
Tuesday, July 24, 2012
We never planned to add him to our family...but the Universe has provided for him, and we've loved him. Now he's gone and wrecked his body a bit as he ran around in the sun....he's completely torn his ACL ligament in his knee. He needs surgery...and soon.
I know that these are tough times right now...and everyone is hard pressed for money. We're selling what we can, and saving where we can to afford this surgery for my boy. The sooner we can get his surgery taken care of, the better. It will cost us $900, and we're about 1/9 the way there so far. He's in pain...and it breaks my heart. That money will cover the cost of his surgery, his stay at the vet after surgery and his post op visit.
If you can find it in your heart to donate anything...even just $5 we would be eternally grateful.
It's so hard for me to ask for help. It's not like me. However, one can never expect help if one can't swallow pride, and ask for help. So this is my plea. For my boy.
Thursday, July 12, 2012
To get a really close shave: before you shave do a hot moist towel pack over your face for about 3-5 minutes. If the towels are cooling down before you feel a distinctive tingle in the skin then have an extra hot towel ready. After the tingle starts (feels good doesn't it?) then apply your shaving cream/gel/oil or whatever you use and start shaving. Men's facial gel is meant to keep the pores open and "masculine" which certainly is not the look our ladies are going for. I like Aveno because it keeps the redness down and does not open the pores.
After the shave, use some witch hazel. Yes, there is a very mild sting on the places you have nicked yourself. (don't nick yourself, use a good razor)
5 minutes after you have used the witch hazel you should start to feel some dry tightening in the skin. This is the time to apply your moisturizer. Wait until the drying tightening before moisturizing, as this is your pores all closing up, which is good because you do not want to moisturize with the pores open as this leads to zits and black heads.
If you plan to use make up wait 10 minutes after moisturizing before you put on your face.
If you do all this, you will get the closest shave of your life.
Now let us talk your razor blade...it should be a man’s razor as women’s razors are crap, designed to be only good for a couple of shaves and they dull fast. It should be at least a 3 bladed razor. The Gillette Mach 3 is a good disposable that will last a number of times before you throw it away. The Gillette Fusion and the Shick Hydro are both good razors that will provide many uses before they crap out on you.
Seem that someone tried to hack this blogger acount last night and failed.
Posted by Cynthia Lee-Bussell at 7:02 AM
Tuesday, June 26, 2012
I am sorry that I have slacked off on posting here on the corner.
I will try and cook up a new post soon.
Just life has been busy. Pride month, Sevans birthday coming up, support group meeting, online advocacy and mentoring, and counsiling a mom of a 10 year old MTF that recently came out of the closet and my days have been full.
Hugz and luv,
Posted by Cynthia Lee-Bussell at 2:53 PM
Wednesday, June 13, 2012
Let me first say...that I'm in no way posting this because this is the *only* way to do things. Some of these ideas are just things that are working for me as a facilitator...and I want to shed light on some of the "background" things that are involved for me, as a facilitator.
The first, and I think most important...is to cultivate relationships with the people you facilitate. Get to know what they like, what they're about. The larger the group...the more difficult this really becomes. However...one can always try.
Our local group has a facebook group that's attached, and I always make sure to "friend" everyone that's part of our facebook group so that I can see what they post about, and get to know them better. If I haven't seen them for a while at the meetings; I'll message them on facebook, or email and just check in with them and see how they're doing.
When you know the people in your group that you're facilitating then you know their strengths (or can try to..) and play to those strengths to get them more involved. When they're involved they can feel like they have partial ownership of the group and contribute to the outcome.
Who knows tumblr really well? Who enjoys photography and can create pictures of events? Who's good with Html and can help with any web presence? Who's warm and inviting and can act as greeters at meetings?
One thing that I try to do...and it may seem very small but I think it's important...and that's to show your own humanity. I never pretend to be perfect. I never even try. If I feel like I'm being put up on a pedestal...I try to take that with grace, but remind them all that I'm human. I fail. Plenty. I think that's important because if you're up high on a pedestal...it's a long hard fall when you do fall...and you will...because that's being human!!
Networking is very important. Getting to know other facilitators and leaders of other similar groups in your area is really important. As facilitator of a trans* group we've gotten to know the board of the LGBT center quite well, the board members of OutSpokane (the organization that puts on PRIDE, among other events) etc. We've also created relationships with other trans* groups around our state so that we know how they do things.
I've created a sign in sheet that includes birthdays. I make sure to remember when birthdays are coming up, and bring that to the attention of the group so that we can celebrate, or at least get a card and recognize their important day.
Look forward to events. Make sure to plan ahead with plenty of time. We started planning for our first Pride booth about four months ahead of time. That gave us time to create educational materials, posters, a banner etc without stress. It also gave us ample time to slowly accrue the cash for those things. Transitioning isn't cheap and I never want to add financial stress to group members (if I can help it..)
As not all trans* people are gay/lesbian/bi it's a good idea to look for events that aren't LGBT geared. There's a diversity celebration in Aug locally that we're planning on participating in.
We're also planning to invite other organizations to join with us in creating our own event for Transgender day of Remembrance. Our local community is supportive and accepting and welcoming them to help us create an event gives them the opportunity to show that support in a visible way. I think it will likely go very well. :)
I'm sure I'm missing a number of things but that's a good enough list for now.
Above all...be open, be present and be available to listen and encourage people to share. Giving people a chance to feel really heard is sadly rare...it's a gift.
Thursday, June 7, 2012
I know I mentioned how our trans* group had been working on a new flag to represent our community. Well we worked on it further and finally came to a solid conclusion for a design. I'd love to see it spread! So frequently I"ve heard complaints about the most well known trans* flag:
The complaint about that flag is the colors. They're "baby colors". I think the creator of the flag was trying to express that most trans* people were born in the wrong body. I can't know that...as I don't know the flag's creator. What I can do though, is make my own version of a trans* flag that might resonate with people more. I enlisted the help of my local trans* support/social group and we came up with this:
The top two stripes represent male (blue) to female (pink). The purple represents non-binary and genderqueer people (as the genderqueer flag colors are green, white and purple) the thin white stripe represents all people as well as the "line" trans* folks cross during their transition. Then the female (pink) to male (blue) along the bottom.
We've made a banner to march with for Pride and we've got small 5x7 flags that we'll wave as we march.
If you like this flag, if you feel that it represents you; then please share it widely! I'd love to see this flag gain ground and take off!!
Wednesday, June 6, 2012
Tuesday, June 5, 2012
Every year Spokane holds the Rainbow awards. They're given out to an LGBT individual, an ally, a group, and the "over the rainbow award". (which I believe is akin to a life time achievement)
First there was a spaghetti dinner and we had so many people from the group show up that we had to steal seats and place settings from other tables. :) It was so wonderful to eat such a yummy dinner with my trans* family.
We moved from the dinner tables to the seating area to see the presentation of the awards. It came as a total surprise that those who were nominated also got certificates saying so! I was nominated for the individual award and especially after seeing who else was nominated I was so honored to be in such company. Here's me walking up to receive my certificate. I decided to go with a mens dress shirt and nice tie, paired with a long flowing skirt. One of my favorite :)
One of my friends was also nominated and got her certificate. Then it was the ally award. After that was the group award presentation. Once again, those who were nominated were really great groups and organizations that do AMAZING work locally. Hearing who was nominated it just stunned me that our little group won.
I went up and gave a speech telling the audience about our group, our achievements this year and how thankful I was (on behalf of the group) to receive such an honor. When I told the audience about how we'd grown from 3 people to 50 people in a matter of a year they all cheered and applauded! It was wonderful. :)
The "Over the Rainbow" award was handed out, and then they also recognized a wonderful volunteer who's really gone above and beyond the call.
After the awards were handed out, we stood around as a group and talked about how amazing it was to be recognized. I asked everyone what we wanted to do with the award. A few of my friends insisted that the award was for Cyndi and I. They recognized the work we do and that the award was for us. I was so touched!!
One of the women from the audience came up and congratulated us on the award. She also told me that she'd recommended *this* blog to her friend! I'm often amazed who reads this, or visits!!
A little while later I got a chance to chat with one of the LGBT therapists who used to lead a trans* support group. Cyndi and I had visited the group once but didn't really connect with the style. Nice people, just not a setting that suited me. Well as we caught up she told me that she didn't do her group anymore, and had been sending people our way. She also said that in all the time she's been coming to the Rainbow Awards...no trans* person or group had ever been honored. That we were the first. That she was so proud of what we're doing, and she trusts we're doing great. Wow. That was amazing to hear.
We left the awards smiling ear to ear. We took a few of our friends home so they didn't have to ride the bus. Conversation was good and more affirming about the work Cyndi and I do.
I literally fell asleep smiling.
Here's my certificate of recognition.
Here's our certificate of award for the Group. :) They even made sure to include the asterisk! :)
The award itself. So pretty! It's hanging at our house. I'm beyond happy and honored. Yea. Honored. That's the perfect word to describe how I'm feeling.
Wednesday, May 30, 2012
An hour video ended up fitting into five videos. Please excuse the crude edit job...I've never made videos before and we all talked so fast in the radio show there was nearly no breaks or pauses that would fit into editing nicely! Anyway. Here's the first video:
The second video:
And the final video:
Sunday, May 20, 2012
So I'm the facilitator of my local trans* support/social group. I think I've mentioned that a time or four. ;) So in prep for Pride we've been creating many documents for us to share, as well as our own version of the Trans* flag! I'd love to see our hard work shared and used to educate and bring people together.
Here is a PDF brochure that's aimed at educating allies.
Here is a PDF brochure that's a 101 introduction to MtF identity.
Here is a PDF brochure that's a 101 introduction to FtM identity.
Here is a PDF brochure that's a 101 introduction to Genderqueer/Non-binary identities.
Here is a PDF hand out that's a glossary of terms for transgender concepts.
Last but most certainly not least...here's our version of the trans* flag.
From top to bottom the colors represent MtF (Blue, to pink) Non binary identities represented by the purple and white stripe, and FtM (pink to blue)
Saturday, May 19, 2012
:) Enjoy! Sorry it took so long for me to get back to videos...eesh!
Tuesday, May 1, 2012
There is a double standard in the trans community when it comes to our lovers.
If a woman is turned on by a trans gender persons body and is happy to be in a relationship with a trans person she is hailed as progressive, a paragon of virtue with an open mind.
If a man is turned on by a trans gender persons body and is happy to be in a relationship with a trans person he is labeled a deviant, a predator and the ultimate 'insult' a chaser.
Just pointing it out.
It looks like an ugly thing to me.
Whats your opinion?
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
HIV is a managable *chronic illness*. It is NOT (for most people, hopefully me included) a *terminal illness* any longer. YES...it used to be. And we grieve those people who lost their lives in horrible ways thanks to this disease. However...thanks to the many wonderful strides we've made in health care and medicine; and our understanding of the disease; it is no longer considered terminal by most medical practitioners who deal with this disease.
It is chronic, and managable.
Does it suck? Yes. All chronic illnesses suck. This is no different.
Do I think about it every second of every day? No.
Do I even think about it most days? No.
Do I think about it when I must consider other secondary infections/disorders that I have? Yes.
Do I have to consider my HIV meds when thinking about adding new medicines into my regiment? Yes.
Is it going to kill me? I really don't believe it will.
Did you know that a cure is being worked on and is functioning very very well in mice? Read more here
I can't be all down trodden about this diease. I can be an advocate. I can educate people about how different it is now from the disease it was in 1985. It's not the same.
Then again, lepersy isn't the same...but people still assume it is. (Did you know lepersy is curable? if you actually get it, there are simple cures for it!)
Thursday, April 5, 2012
Thursday, March 29, 2012
Today's Dr. Oz show dealt with transgender issues. I was nervous when I first saw the title "Transgender Families: When my husband became a woman" but I have always been of the mind that "any press is good press" if it's presented in even a slightly positive light. This show left me very sad however.
Not everyone can afford surgery. I feel as though his presentation shows the masses that you are a man until the day you enter the surgical suite. That "the surgery" is what makes you a woman. This is false and incorrect! This is bordering on harmful. All three of the women profiled were lucky enough, and had the ability to work hard enough to afford that surgery and healthy enough to go through with bottom surgery. Not every woman is so lucky or able! Are they any less of a woman? No. They are not. Their identity should be just as valid, and in my eyes...*is* just as valid.